Living with a passive aggressive adopted child makes everyday a little more interesting. The unexpected becomes the expected after a few years. The strange and unusual become quite normal at least in your world. It is true; the shock begins to wear off. You are left with sort of a resigned acceptance. After a while, you may even give up reprimanding your child. After all, you are just wasting your breath and amusing your child. Consequences, justice, and remuneration mean nothing to the passive aggressive adopted child. Really, your only hope of stopping the deliberate destruction of your property is to give up reacting.
You cannot show your anger to your passive aggressive child. Do not even frown in front of the child or any witnesses. You also cannot let the child overhear you ranting to someone else either. Any of these behaviors will perpetuate your child’s naughty activities.
Today, I sent my 11 year old to breakdown cardboard boxes for recycling in the basement. Flattening cardboard is one of those occasionally necessary jobs that I assign to a child in trouble. Did I mention that my 11 year old has been exhibiting passive aggressive behaviors for over two years now?
The first thing I noticed when I opened the basement door to inspect the job was the fresh smell of acrylic paint. The next thing I noticed was the Vacation Bible School candy was missing. Well now, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened. Apparently, she did not want to break down the cardboard and that was her way of telling me. Of course, that earned her another job. I smiled sweetly and told her how much I appreciated all of her extra work.
We haven’t quite finished our spring cleaning yet, you know. With seven children living in the house there are always odd jobs that need to be done. Her next job, arranging the movie shelf and putting the movies back in their cases was in a highly visible area.
Photo Credit: 2008 Julia Fuller.
